Wedding Dress Photos by Glenn Guiao
Disclaimer: The photo above does not depict the couples mentioned in this article. It is included solely for illustrative purposes, while certain Reddit threads I discovered online have proven useful.
Anyone else hate wedding dress shopping?
This is just a vent, but I really never thought that shopping for a dress would be the worst part of wedding planning. I’m in my 40s and plus size and there seems to be nothing out there that is remotely appropriate. Dresses designed for someone young and trim made in bigger sizes just aren’t flattering at all and I feel stupid even trying them on. The best I can seem to find is “not awful” which is not how I want to feel on my wedding day. I have a vision of what I would like (tea length, natural waist, v-neck, with long sleeves, in a blush tone) but unfortunately it doesn’t seem to exist, at least anywhere that you can try it on.
Oh, and just a word of advice: do not buy from Marla’s Fashions, an online store. It turns out the only “refund” they offer (if you return within 7 days) is store credit, which is utterly useless if they have nothing else you want. I learned that the hard way and am out $800 for a dress that doesn’t fit. (The measurements are not accurate.)
Sorry, rant over. I wonder if anyone is/was in the same boat and how you managed to find something that made you feel pretty on your wedding day. I’m open to any hacks, but really don’t want to waste any more money collecting dresses I cannot wear.
Im almost 40, queer, plus size and never thought about getting married until I found my partner so my overall feeling was that I wasn’t being a bride correctly and that I was in trouble. I haven’t had that experience with our other vendors thankfully but dress shopping wasn’t a fun time. The only way I can think do describe it is that I was in trouble for doing bride wrong. And when I tell people they’re like “no you’re great there isn’t a wrong way” which yeah I know that but the feeling the whole time was that I was doing it wrong.
I'm a little older than you even and have had awful experiences with dress shopping. I currently own two dresses. One doesn't fit well and one I'm not crazy about. I had a vision similar to yours and couldn't find it either and settled. I encourage you to find a dress maker as others have suggested. Or keep looking. But don't settle.
She was bringing her own choices to me "just for me to see how everything fits so I will always know and not be afraid of my mind" Find what your body looks good at, if still not sure, textile designer students or fashion students could tell you as well. Every body is beautiful, and choosing the correct dress (not the one you saw on someone else) is what you will find the most joy with.
I hated it too! Agree that everything is geared for much younger brides (I'm in my late 30s). Also there is not much selection for shorter dresses, which was something I also wanted. I ended up going to a dressmaker and getting what I wanted made.
Not a wedding dressmaker, they are crazy expensive (unless you can afford that, I'm sure they will make a georgous dress). I found a tailor who did custom dresses. I found a dress that I liked on etsy, and also a pattern that I liked, and brought them to her.
She got fabric and made the dress. It was a basic cotten dress by looked amazing. It came out to about $1700 total, which really wasn't that bad considering I didn't need alterations.
She was also able to do some other things with the fabric, like make a tie for my husband and fabric to tie the bouquets and boutonniers with (same fabric as my dress). I'm in NYC, so I don't know how easy it would be to find a dressmaker, but I would definitely encourage it if that is an option!
Mostly nothing looked good because the dress style was made for a more curvy figure and my boney shoulders sticking up just didn't work. (In the end, someone tipped me off that a local Goodwill got wedding dress donations and I found a gorgeous old-fashioned style dress that fits my body really well).
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